Have I told you that my son is a pyromaniac? Oh, no? My son is a pyromaniac. Actually, lately, I realize I might be wrong. Apparently part of the definition of pyromania “is repeated association with fire but without a real motive”. Well my son has motive, his motive is to set a fire. He tells me that the reason why he likes fire so much is because it is pretty. Also, it is his favorite color, orange. I think he would actually prefer to blow something up, but we don’t have any “real” dynamite. The other day I came home and he told me to put gun-powder on the grocery list. Sure dude, I’ll get right on that. Where would that be located? The blow your household up aisle?
The other day he was really mad at me. He was getting ready to go ignite some dynamite (he makes fresh dynamite daily) he was trying to sneak by me with one of those fireplace lighters. I have mentioned this before, there is no one in this house that can pull the wool over these magic eyes. I stopped him, because if you read paragraph one, you would understand why matches, lighters, flint, two sticks, are completely off-limits in this house. Well he was indignant and this is what he had to say.
“Mom! I was not going to burn the house down! You should trust me! I’ve never burned the house down in my whole life!”
I tried not to laugh, and instead, to defuse the situation (get it Pun-Lovers of America, de-Fuse?) I asked him to tell me about his plans so I could videotape it. Well this kid loves the camera, and this is what I got.
I had to pull this youTube video, but you really shouldn’t miss it! Go to my youTube channel at JenKehl to check it out!
Jen Kehl 
LOL – That’s great!!
Thanks Julie!
love love love that! He is such a smart little man – even with his pyromaniacal (yes, in my world I make up words – Webster has a dictionary, why can’t I???) tendencies
I am a fully aligned with the idea of creating your own dictionary. Most recently creating the word metamorphical, not to be confused with the word metaphorical. As a matter of fact, not related in anyway. And thank you 🙂
I’m glad to hear he makes his own dynamite fresh daily. I would be pretty disgusted if he didn’t.
I know, that gunpowder goes bad pretty quickly. Well it would if there was any left at the end of the day.
Too funny and I will be honest and tell you my first thought was thank god I have girls!!! The worst I have is princess obsessed!! 🙂
When your girls turn 13 let’s see who’s glad they have girls!
I absolutely love his reasoning, it reminds me of my son’s. And you know what, having no priors is an admissible argument in court. I am totally basing this on Dexter and other stuff I watch.
I’ll keep that in mind when he finally does blow something up. Maybe he’s sheer ingenuity will get us an attorney pro-bono!
Now you have to video tape the little dude setting it off!!! I could watch him all day! SO adorable…even if he does burn the house down! 🙂 (So fun to find you!)
Thanks Chris! I actually have refrained from video taping any of the actual burning. I am afraid it could be used in a court of law 🙂
Ok, this video SERIOUSLY made my entire weekend better. He is HILARIOUS. What a ham!
“Now…”
LOL
Loved it, thank you. 🙂
Thanks DEB!!!! If you like that, you should check out my youtube channel. And there’s so much more trapped in my computer waiting to come out!
I love this! My nephew was completely obsessed with dynamite. My mom actually had a few old red candlesticks left from Christmas. She cut down the wax, and left a long string of wick at the ends, and taped them together. Carson loved it!!
HOLY Dynamite Batman! My son would have been burning those stealthily in a corner in no time!!
Isiah is brilliant! He really thought this thing through. Next time I hear fire engines I will think of you 🙂
I think of me when I hear fire engines too!
Can we trade kids? I’ll give you five, you send him over! Seriously, freaking adorbs.
Dude. I can’t even handle one. But you can have him anyway.
Oh Lord…I think I’ve just seen my future. We went for Japanese food the other day and when the chef set fire to the cooking table, Ben leaped backwards half across the restaurant and Molly threw both hands in the air and cheered, “YAAAAAAYYY!!! MOOOOOORE FIIIIIIRE!!”
We used to go to Stir Crazy, where you make your own stir fry and then if you want you can stay there an watch them make it, he only wanted to go for the fire, he didn’t even eat his food!
Gawd, he’s adorable! EEEEP. And dude is super-smart, too. Wow. You’re rockin’ the home schooling!
Oh yeah, we learn all about incendiary devices in homeschool.
Holy shit, you are in SO MUCH TROUBLE. At least his ‘putting fire out’ skills are just as savvy. He’s a keeper, most def. XOXO
Dude you have no idea. Once he made a “torch” when I wasn’t looking. I smelled fire just as he came up from the basement yelling HELP! There’s a nice big melted spot in the basement carpet to remember him by….
If your kid and my kid got together either they or we would end up in jail. But we’d have a helluva good story to tell about it later.
I’m thinking that’s in my future no matter what I do….
What a smarty pants! Does he love writing stories too?
He loves dictating them. Cause that’s how he rolls.
This was hilarious. He’s certainly your boy genius. He will probably grow up to be a fireman or on the bomb squad diffusing bombs. It’s awesome how he thinks lightning will come down from the sky and light that fuse. Thanks for the laugh. He’s adorable.
Thank you so much! You know, we have never talked about the bomb squad, he wants to be a fireman, a policeman and an EMT. He sees no reason why he can’t be them all.