Fragmented Friday’s

39 comments

As if my brain weren’t fragmented enough.  I get all this junk stuck in there and I don’t know what to do with it.  So Mrs. 4-4-4-4’s over at Half-Past Kissin’ Time has this great link-up.  It’s for all that stuff that gets relegated to my “blog about” notebook, but never really get’s a chance to escape.

cassette tape thoughts

 

So these are the things I thought were interesting enough to remember, just not quite deep enough to expound on:

My son loves his cousin-sister.  They’re onlys and my sister is almost my only friend, so it’s a good deal all around.  My son is addicted to gum-ball machines, OK, who isn’t? At the restaurant the other day, he stole a quarter out of my purse to buy a gum-ball.  I didn’t know this at the time, or maybe I just blue gumballswasn’t paying attention. No matter. Cousin-sister walks in, gives him that million dollar smile, and he says “I have a present for you!” She doesn’t even wait to hear what it is, she starts gushing “you’re the best brother in the whole world!” and runs over to give him a hug. He hands her a gum-ball. Her eyes pop open so wide you think they’re gonna fall out of her head, she looks so clearly amazed as she says, in her loudest most outside voice “I love blue balls! Blue balls are my favorite!”

It seems our best comes out around mealtime, at dinner over the weekend, somehow my sister and I got on the topic of ashes. As in “remains”. We both mused about how we had such grand plans for the ashes of our previous dogs.  However we each still have the ashes of our last dog, mine is in a closet, I think she said hers was in a drawer somewhere.  Then a thought struck us (because we share a brain), maybe we should add a teaspoon of the ashes of our previous dogs to our new dogs food, because if you are what you eat?

Maybe if I tried, I could make this into a post.  But I’m tired.  Although it had a title, “Don’t be mean because you’re green”.  Ya see, sometimes people take themselves way to seriously, and when I am out Photo Skitch Documentand about without the terrorist wonderful son in tow, I can be a little chatty.  You know, I get to pretend I’m a grown-up, but the checker at Whole Foods today had no sense of humor whatsoever. I’m buying the necessities, you know, Sangria. And she doesn’t even card me. I’m all “hey how old do you think I am?” with a smile. Her “what?” me “you know, don’t you have to card me if I look under a certain age? What’s that age?” her “pardon me?” Now this isn’t even funny anymore, it’s painful. Me “you know, don’t they tell you in training, if someone looks under “this age”, like 60, you need to card them?” Her, “oh 30”. Me “oh OK, I can handle 30.” Can you hear the crickets chirping? What’s up chickie???? Give this mama some love and card her!!!!

Mommy's Idea

 

39 comments on “Fragmented Friday’s”

  1. Ok the blue balls are funny 🙂 My kids were talking about nuts in their pockets a few years ago and it escalated into an argument about who didn’t want the other person to touch their nuts. They had picked up acorns during a hike 😉

    I love being carded. I know I look well over 21 now, but it just feels good, doesn’t it??

    1. I know the things kids say, and you don’t want to crack up, because they’re like “What? What’s so funny??” “Oh nothing dear, snicker” and yes, I still like to get carded. My mom still treats me like a child, so I should at least get the benefits, right??

  2. There are a few states now that card everyone. It feels so silly since I am obviously long past the age of wondering if I’m legal : )

    Cousins are special! Enjoy your weekend!

  3. holy crap, the blue balls was hilarious! oh to be able to shout things like that out loud when you’re an adult and not get politely asked to leave. sigh. and my husband still laughs anytime i ask him if he wants some nuts. it just never gets old.

  4. thanks for the laughs. Nice to find this blog on the FF trail. My FF posting goes back to 2010 I think I was funnier in the beginning but are we not funnier as kids. I even did a rhyme for FF posts:
    It’s fragments on Friday
    they form a fine day
    not nice bitchin,
    instead be FF fishin
    I don’t have time
    to make it all rhyme
    it don’t matter
    FF friends will flatter.

    Love the blue balls and so glad I don’t have them.

    1. I don’t even know how I found it, I think I noticed someone I was following posted, and I really love the idea of it. I have this notebook filled with my own fragments, I think they’re kind of lonely and would like to see the light of day 🙂
      Nice poem!

  5. Oh man, I would have been laughing hysterically over the blue balls scenario – especially since I am right now! 🙂

    Ewww on the dog ashes – and why didn’t I think of that?! 🙂

    What?! The cashier didn’t pick up what you were putting down? Sheesh! You totally should have been carded! 🙂

  6. Very cute post. We actually have 2 gumball machines in the house now. Not quite sure why but my husband thinks they’re pretty cool. And I absolutely LOVE being carded….especially if my 14 year old is with me. Love to watch him roll his eyes because I’m so excited. LOL

    Found you site via MTM Mixer. Hope you’ll stop by for a visit as well. Planning on following your blog and other channels. Cheers!!

    Penny at Green Moms and Kids
    http://greenmomsandkids.wordpress.com

  7. This is such a great idea. I would Love to get carded again btw. I’m sure the cashier just loves her job and is so used to performing her duties in robotic fashion that she was caught by surprise by your attempt at interaction. Thanks for linking up at the More than Mommies mixer this week!

  8. So, I get carded walking into every casino (I don’t have a gambling problem, but they’re everywhere, and basically the only thing to do around here is go to the casino) and the “bouncer” dude at the last one didn’t think I was funny when I offered to show him my stretch marks as proof of age. I leave my purse (and wallet that contains my ID) in the car so I don’t accidentally spend the grocery money trying to win back the gambling money. That’s responsible, yo, and I can’t be underage if I’m thinking that clearly. Hmph.

    1. Ahhh….casinos they are some seriously humorless dudes, almost like the guards in front of Buckingham Palace, except of course they talk, and they will throw your *ss out if you look sideways, or show them your stretch marks!

  9. You, my crazy-eye friend, are so f@cking awesome (see? I am capable of learning. maybe.)
    Blue balls? I love blue balls too! Especially if they are deserved! My last dog’s ashes are in my closet, too. I won’t feed them to my now-dog because my now dog is amazing and cool and CÅLM and my last dog was a psycho. I loved him, but he was batsh!t crazy. (Still learning!). Seriously, he’d bark if a squirrel passed gas down the street. And he hated everybody except me. And WTF (learning again) is UP with those @sshole (more learning) checker-outer-people? Dumbshits. Oops. Learning is hard.

    You rock. Like seriously.
    And I'm so drawing your crazyeyeballdrawing but reserve the right to do stuff to it like make you a cowBOY. Or something.

    1. I love you. Oops, am I allowed to say that, or did I break some boundary rule? You are so good for my ego, that’s why I keep you around and twit with you when I should be doing real stuff. Like feeding my child, and getting in trouble by my mother. YES you heard me, “Jennifer! What are you doing with that phone. You know you’ve been here all day and you’ve gotten nothing done. Can’t you put that thing a way!” See what I have to deal with? But then I check my spam folder and there you are waiting, vaguely disguised swear words and all. Can’t wait for my self-portrait. Maybe you can call it schizophrenic in eye-patch. TTTx10 ❤

  10. Now this is so danged funny!!! Blue Balls….I gotta say it….okay, here goes…I wouldn’t touch that with a 10 foot pole. Blue Balls….rofl.

    And…

    ashes, ashes, we all fall down.

    You started it. I just couldn’t help myself.

    1. You’re funny! I even repeated the story last night in front of the kids, and she did it again! She really loves those blue balls, blue were my favorite too 🙂

  11. You’re funny–It’s been a long time since I got carded, so I’m with you on that, and I am totally the kind of person to strike up random, bold, one-sided conversations like that, too. Thanks for the chuckle.

    BTW, you can save yourself the extra syllables; it’s pronounced Mrs. Fours. (long story, but if you’re dying to know, click on the link in my sidebar 🙂

    It’s great to meet you! Thanks for linking up.

    1. I actually knew about your name but I thought it was so funny I had to do it at least once. Thanks so much for the link-up its so perfect for my random thoughts 🙂

  12. Jen my husband and I stopped off at the supermarket one day and bought popcorn and orange squash. We then decided to stop off at a pub for a beer. When the waitress arrived I asked her to pop our popcorn and to bring me water for our squash. She was totally humourless, simply gave us blank stare and explained that their industrial microwave oven was too powerful to pop popcorn.

    1. Oh and on the off chance you and your sister are not just kidding about feeding current dogs a teaspoon of ashes, DON’T in case of a form of Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease.

      1. Oh you’re preaching to the choir sister, check out my post And What About Mad Cow? However the debate is still far reaching about dogs contracting what is actual named Canine Cognitive Disorder. The fact is most cases have been in the UK because there they were actually knowingly using cattle with Bovine Spongiform Encephalitis for cat and dog food. And the original cases were from the sheep when the rendering plant in the UK exploded. HOWEVER, that being said, although we were joking, both of our dogs died at a nice old age, and neither exhibited signs of Canine Cognitive Disorder. Now my Wacko medium dog Roscoe, I cannot vouch for him, he is barking at me for almost no reason right now 🙂
        and p.s. some people have no sense of humor. It should be a requirement in the service industry.

  13. The blue balls are hilarious! But it was so sweet of your son to sneak a quarter from your purse to give a present to your sister.

    My sister’s cats’ ashes are gathering dust on her mantel, so I’m thinking that when the time comes, maybe we’ll just spread our cats’ ashes somewhere, or not bring them home.

    1. Our last cat passed a month ago, and we decided not to take the ashes. Seeing as how we are already collecting them, and it costs way extra for individual remains. Our last 2 cats passed at home and we just buried them in the way back, that’s not allowed here, so don’t tell anyone. But it’s much cheaper and they really loved the yard. FYI I’m not crazy or anything.

  14. coming over from ff.

    love the blue balls story though back in the day when my oldest son was a teen and used to SHOUT about balks from out in the driveway I didn’t really see the humor in it I must confess.

  15. The blue balls comment is priceless! I have cousins who are just three years older than my oldest. When I was pregnant with my daugther, he had a whole conversation with his mom about how he couldn’t marry her because she was his mom, but he had his eye on my girl baby… cousin love at its… ummm, best? 😉

    1. Still going on here. His cousin is convinced they are going to get married, he tries to tell her they won’t and she says “Yes Dear.” !

  16. My husband gets carded ALL of the time and he’s older than me. He thinks it’s funny, I think it’s mildly annoying. 😉

    I’m visiting today from the Raising Imperfection hop.

    1. My husband is older than me too, and he gets carded! He also tells people he’s younger than me when asked! Scoundrel! Thanks fro the visit!

  17. The blue balls is hilarious, oh my goodness. Kid!

    Thanks for sharing your favorite post at Raising Imperfection! We feature our favorites on Friday, make sure to come back and check.
    Leslie

    1. Dude, my kid cracks me up. I just created a video, because there was no way I could translate the shear humor of our conversation. Stay-tuned.

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