So yesterday I’m panicking. What if there’s no more? Here I said I was going to do this regular feature, cause my husband is pretty darn entertaining. And by 8:30am, this morning, this is all I had:
Husband looking at the mail yells to me from across the kitchen “Where’s this from?” (yes he even ended the sentence in a preposition, I mean at least add a noun, maybe wife? gorgeous? lady who keeps my house from burning down?)Anyway, I say, “why don’t you try putting on your glasses” him “I would if I could find a pair in this house” me “check your head.” eye-roll. (yeah, I know, more entertaining in real-life)
These are my glasses, I wear them when I teach my kids, just incase one of them needs me to read a research paper.
These are my glasses, I am wearing them because I thought the aliens were asking me to read their secret document, not taking my picture.
These are my glasses on my head, they are there so that I can hear James Taylor better
These are my glasses on my head, they are there so I can see when the 4th scoop is about to fall off of my cone.
Next:
My husband is trying to kill me and trying to get me to kill him all at once. He is using oxy-spray to clean the bottom of the tennis shoes he bought yesterday so he can return them today. (he found a better price online, can’t blame him, although he could have looked before) However, he is using said toxic smelling spray in the kitchen, which is basically our kitchen/family room/living room/dining room/mom office/classroom. I say “dude, can you do that somewhere else? I’m gonna have a killer headache in about 5 minutes.” He says “no, I’m soaking them in the sink, can’t you go somewhere else?” WHAT??!! Oh yeah, I’ll go somewhere else, cause there is somewhere else for me to go. And you know what? I’ll leave the pyro-maniac here with you, see how you like it. I get up to see exactly what can be done about the situation before I brain him, and what do I see? He is using the DISH SPONGE TO CLEAN THE BOTTOM OF HIS SHOES! YES I AM YELLING! Dude, thank goodness for my slight compulsion about buying my sponges in multiples, without which, he would be LICKING THE DISHES RIGHT NOW!
So maybe that was enough. But the gem was still to arrive. And so my friends, well, can I call you friends? Many of you are more like friends than real friends anyway, I mean you read my blog. I bring you…..the text.
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Jen Kehl 
haha, to the glasses that are about to ALWAYS fall off his head! Awesome! Ew to the oxy-spray in the kitchen sink…my husband does the same thing and manages to complain enough about it that I think it’s my fault somehow (like he was walking MY dog and stepped in another dog’s poop but it was me because he’d have not been out there if it wasn’t for my dog blah blah).
And DUDE you have AWESOME crazy eyes. No wonder – “got it”
🙂
10 times fast? ❤
I think my blog know’s your crazy and wants to keep you under control. Somehow you are always winding up in my spam folder. It’s probably punishment for the one time you swore in a comment. Meanwhile, I was going to let that crazy eye picture disappear into the nether-reaches of my computer, but I had to bring it out for my crazy eye twin. But wait….yours are for excitement. Mine are for CRAZY, ha ha ha ha (insert Vincent Price laugh there) TTT x10 ❤
Ugh, I always am in spam? It’s the anti-swear monsters. Punishing me. Forever. Sigh. Note to self – NO MORE SWEARING!
And, um, I swore in a comment to you? Dude. So sorry. I suck. And need a filter. Sometimes I forget that not everybody likes swearing as much as I do.
TTT x 10 ❤
Don’t worry I forgive you, it’s just those cyber-bots. You know…all logic, no compassion. Also, in this house, suck counts as swearing. Well, only in front of 7-year-olds, other than that I say it all the time. Who am I kidding, when am I ever without my 7-year-old…..
TTTx10 ❤
aren’t we cute
Ha ha, I can so relate to the sponge thing. My husband does stuff like that then tries to make it seem like I’m being unreasonable when I stop him. Can’t relate to the text thing, my husband’s a dinosaur, he thinks a phone is for calling, sheesh.
Seriously, he’s like “What? It’s a sponge, it’s for cleaning!” Yes for cleaning things like the cups your son drinks out of.
Whoa. That’s some text.
totally!
hahaha! Now that’s a text! RRRRRR! Where’s the rum? 😉
You did better than everyone else! At least you got the gist of it!