So yesterday I’m panicking. What if there’s no more? Here I said I was going to do this regular feature, cause my husband is pretty darn entertaining. And by 8:30am, this morning, this is all I had:
Husband looking at the mail yells to me from across the kitchen “Where’s this from?” (yes he even ended the sentence in a preposition, I mean at least add a noun, maybe wife? gorgeous? lady who keeps my house from burning down?)Anyway, I say, “why don’t you try putting on your glasses” him “I would if I could find a pair in this house” me “check your head.” eye-roll. (yeah, I know, more entertaining in real-life)
My husband is trying to kill me and trying to get me to kill him all at once. He is using oxy-spray to clean the bottom of the tennis shoes he bought yesterday so he can return them today. (he found a better price online, can’t blame him, although he could have looked before) However, he is using said toxic smelling spray in the kitchen, which is basically our kitchen/family room/living room/dining room/mom office/classroom. I say “dude, can you do that somewhere else? I’m gonna have a killer headache in about 5 minutes.” He says “no, I’m soaking them in the sink, can’t you go somewhere else?” WHAT??!! Oh yeah, I’ll go somewhere else, cause there is somewhere else for me to go. And you know what? I’ll leave the pyro-maniac here with you, see how you like it. I get up to see exactly what can be done about the situation before I brain him, and what do I see? He is using the DISH SPONGE TO CLEAN THE BOTTOM OF HIS SHOES! YES I AM YELLING! Dude, thank goodness for my slight compulsion about buying my sponges in multiples, without which, he would be LICKING THE DISHES RIGHT NOW!
So maybe that was enough. But the gem was still to arrive. And so my friends, well, can I call you friends? Many of you are more like friends than real friends anyway, I mean you read my blog. I bring you…..the text.
Sharing this post with