My son’s been using the B word lately.

So here’s the thing.  Swearing is NOT allowed in this house.  I once was a raging, rebellious, tattoo covered, following bands for weeks on end, questionable bad decision-making teen/young adult.  Had my child come into my life then, well, I would expect him to swear like a truck-driver.  (Wait, my husband was a truck-driver…well, whatever, you know what I mean)

Admittedly as an adult I have become quite prudish, blushing if a curse word escapes from my mouth.  Correcting my mother if she says “Oh my God!” In front of my child, “it’s Oh my gosh mom!”  And forget it if she says stupid.  Really?! Do I need my 7-year-old calling other people stupid?  When I recently took a trip to Second City, the child insisted on knowing why he could not join us, I mentioned that the language would not be appropriate.
He nodded his head knowingly and said, “Ooooh… they’re gonna say the S word right?”
” What’s that?” I inquired.
“Yup sweetie, they might say that.”
He then rambled off the short list of other bad words: Shut up, Horrible, Disgusting and of course Hate.  Yes sweetie, you are right on.

So imagine my surprise when the other day he was singing a made up song (something he does CONSTANTLY) and it went something like “you bitcher you bitchey your such a bitch boy.” My eyebrows went up so high they hit the top of my fivehead and believe me that’s high.

I am a firm believer in not bringing bad language to the attention of children, because that makes it so much more interesting.
So, I ever so calmly said “Hey sweetie, what is that song you’re singing?”
He said, “It’s about a bitch boy.”
“Oh yeah? What’s that?”
“Well you know mommy, it’s a boy who likes girls.”  
Hmmmm….. “A boy who likes girls? Where did you learn that?”
“I learned it from Wally, mom.”  Yes folks you heard it, he learned that precious piece of information from Wally Cleaver of Leave it to Beaver fame.

“Sweetie are you sure you heard Wally say that?” I asked cautiously.
“Absolutely mom!  That’s what Wally and his friends are, now that they are getting older they are bitch boys.”
Well…..I had two choices, explain that bitch is a bad word, and we shouldn’t say it, guaranteeing that we would hear it again, and again.  Or I could ignore it, and hope against hope that it would go away.  I’m all for denial.

Oh yeah, and Cleavers?  Thanks for nothing!


And if you think this post is an example of a good mom, will you click that little button down there? If not you can just keep that to yourself.


45 thoughts on “My son’s been using the B word lately.

    • The worst part is I can’t press him or he’ll know something’s up! I guess this means I’m actually going to have to pay attention when he’s watching the Beav.

  1. Leave it to the Beaves to corrupt your child. Oy! I am the same. I don’t like it when my kids say “Oh my God”, “shut up” “that sucks”…any of it. My kids are always asking why it’s bad to say “God”. It’s a tough one to explain. Why it’s bad in one context and not in another. We cursed as kids occasionally, but I don’t know…there was just a line that wasn’t crossed, you know? Now, it’s so pervasive in the media that kids get this idea it’s okay because Phinneus and Ferb are doing it. It’s all around the clock on 500 channels. Sigh. It’s tough these days. But then, you have those darn Cleavers from the 50s to blame! haha

    • Seriously! We don’t have cable, just netflix and amazon prime, that way I figured I could control what corrupted my child. Leave it to those darn Cleavers! I also want to instill in my son that words are powerful, and we shouldn’t just throw them about like they don’t matter. I guess that’s why we’re writers 🙂

  2. I had my youngest girl with me at work one day when she was seven or eight. The internet was still relatively new and she asked to use the computer. I was busy and agreed. I did cast a glance at what she was looking at and saw cartoon characters.

    After some time she asked to print something off and I agreed. I was shocked with what I saw. I had never heard of South Park at that time.

  3. That is funny! Who would think that he would get that from the Cleavers! I remember when my daughter first dropped the F-bomb. Both my mother and father-in-law fessed up to saying it in front of her without us accusing anyone. Lol!

    • Oh my gosh! Could it be???? How come you are the first person to come up with this valuable information??? Now I have to think of a sly way to ask 🙂

  4. Oh my gosh (to replace my pre-mommy “holyf*tard”)! Are you serious? I’m fairly confident that Leave it to Beaver (one of my childhood favs) did not teach bitchboy, I’m NOT confident that LitB didn’t make it sound like, well, your son made it sound. Ouch. Also prejudice was way more accepted then, which is totally not cool. Awesome funny post 🙂

    • OK Kristi, your family friendly f*tard comment got you relegated to my spam folder! Don’t worry, I made you rated G friendly so you could join the party. AND I know!!! Where the heck did he get that??? Ah the good old days, when it was OK to discriminate, but if you didn’t wear your pearls to breakfast you were ostracized!

  5. We are so careful to make sure our kids aren’t exposed to terrible language or inappropriate ideas… and then they miss-hear something and all our good work flies out the window!!

  6. Being British I have no idea who Wally Mom is, but she sounds totally odd! Either that or he’s been reading another British blogger @wallymummy. In which case I would be extremely worried – that girl swears worse than a trooper! (She is very funny though!)
    Thanks for linking up to Wot So Funee? 🙂

  7. Wally?? How could he! I hear you about going for the not pushing it, be in denial reaction. My speech-delayed three year old said “shit!” once when his truck fell off the table. It was hard to not react but wow, I was shocked. I don’t think he got that one from the Cleavers, sadly, as I’m pretty sure it was my husband instead.
    Um…at least your son’s creative in making up the songs! 🙂

    • Trust me. We are strictly 70’s music folks here. Plus we do the Bossa Nova thang. That boy will not know pop music until he gets a job and can pay for his own listening device!

  8. Ah, the lovely things that come out of there mouth. I have an entire category devoted to this subject on my blog!
    Thanks for linking up with the ladies for the Thursday hop. Hope you are finding some good reads! I appreciate you displaying out button!
    Hope you can join us next week as well.
    thanks again!

  9. Oh man, Jen! I am not a parent, but I can imagine how startled you must have been to have heard that. I wouldn’t really know what to do in your situation … but this language is all over everything – songs, television and movies … it’s so hard to shelter them. I guess all we can hope for is to teach them right 🙂

    • So true…. I have a friend from Detroit with kids the same age. She listens to rap, etc…. never have I even let it in my house with the most express fear that some ferocious mistake will escape his lips!

  10. DYING! This is hilarious. I bet you were like, um, sorry? ‘Scuse me, honey? Awesome. And I bet it really was “beach”? Surely?? If I know anything, I know Wally wouldn’t dare use that kind of language. LAUGHING 🙂

  11. Ugh … it’s heartbreaking when any bad word escapes the mouth of an innocent child. I am the same way … I don’t think attention needs to be brought to it in such a way that it’s going to make them want to say it over and over again.
    Unfortunately my two year old said Dammit because she heard mommy say it {Dammit!} so I feel where you are coming from!

    Thank you for linking to Raising Imperfection.
    Please come back Friday to see if you were featured. 🙂

    (¸¤ Lanaya | xoxo

    • Isaiah said dammit around 3 or so. One day I stubbed my toe and was hopping around the house and he said “mommy, say dommit, you’ll feel better!” Luckily he said it wrong, and luckily I learned my lesson. Someday it’ll be a good story to share with him!

  12. I have to start watching what I say so my little one doesn’t repeat it. It is so hard to break the habit though!!

    Thank you for linking up to Raising Imperfection!
    Make sure to check back on Friday to see if you were featured.

  13. As a teacher I hear my nine year old students saying “He swore!” all the time. They tell me that ‘he’ said the c word. Relax… they mean crap. But it scares me every time. That was really funny!

  14. I was waiting to get to the part about what Wally really said? LOL!! Just the other day my son was singing the song where you make up words like – Cat Cat Bo Bat Fe Fi Fo Fat Cat. Anyway he did Itchy and sang the whole thing. I turned around and said, “You know you just said a bad word right.” He looked up as he was playing it over in his head and asked, “Which one?” I said, “Bitchy. Bitch is a bad word.” He said, “Sorry mom I didn’t even know I was singing that.”

    • Kenya, we’ve just done rhyming before and accidentally said bad words. Meanwhile, since he still doesn’t know them, I just keep my surprised mouth shut so I’m not the one to teach him!

  15. Oh boy, disgusting is how my 4yo sometimes refers to my cooking. That word doesn’t bother me, but the context does. Our bad words are stupid and idiot. They don’t know, to my knowledge, the typical bad words, except for piss, which I’ve used a couple times and have caught my 8yo using it appropriately. Ack! I said, please don’t say that at Sunday school.

    • Kate – I remember when the boy said carp one day. He meant crap, but it came out carp. It was so hard not to laugh, but I learned my lesson!

  16. Is there another Wally out there that we moms should be aware of? A b-word, slinging, young mind corrupting Wally that is probably plying young minds with free drugs and booze…if you meet him, give him my number, I could use a good party. 😉

    Thank you for linking up with the Humor Me! Blog Hop!!!

  17. Something tells me that Wally has been hanging around at your boy’s school. The good thing is, he didn’t try out the new addition to his vocabulary on someone else like my sister did. When she was six years old, she happily greeted my aunt at the door with a big smile and resounding “hi there, you f*ing bitch!”. My mom just about melted into the floor.

  18. I heart this! Who knew that Leave it to Beaver was so scandalous! LOL! As usual, it totally made me think of something that MY kid has said. Remind me when I come visit to leave him at home. If those two get together it may very well be the end of the world as we know it! 😉 Thank you for sharing this oldie but goodie at the Humor Me Blog Hop!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s