Sticking my hand in the toaster

It’s a rare thing, a minute alone, no less 120! Tonight is one of those beautiful nights Grandma wants to Grandparent, and boy am I thankful!  Lately I’ve been wanting to write, but homeschooling and homemaking tend to get in the way.  And yeah, I’ll admit it, I feel guilty when I tell the boy, sure, go ahead, watch one more Leave it to Beaver. Just so I can write.  But I really want to write (insert whining here). So tonight I write!

I had this dream of having time to write, make a healthy dinner, clean the kitchen, put away all leftover homeschooling material left out, start the year-end filing for my husband’s business and IMG_0404finishing filling out some insurance forms. All in two hours. Ha!  My mom is late.  It’s been two hours. I’ve been sitting here at the kitchen table since about 5 minutes after she left. I re-heated some Perdue Bourbon Chicken.  That was dinner. The pan I cooked them on, the dish I retrieved them from, the plate I ate on, all sitting about 2 feet from me on the counter.  Clean the kitchen. Oh yeah, I fed the dogs!  Yes! I wrote too, it felt good. So good I don’t care that the kitchen is a mess and there’s junk laying all over the house.

You’ve gotta find time to do the things you love. The things that make you, you. Once upon a time, I was a photographer. A photographer who wanted to be a writer but was scared. What I loved about photography was the process of working in the darkroom. Well, thanks to the toxic chemicals and my inability to be in denial about the inevitable cancer they would cause, that passion had to be put aside. Forcing me to realize the one dream that scared me the most. Writing. I’m not scared anymore. I’m happier, and even happier by the day. You know that saying “let you, be you”? You gotta. There’s something that burns inside all of us, some of us bury it really really deep. So deep you might not even know it’s there. But it’s there, and every-once in a while you probably feel that spark. That ah-ha!  Maybe you think it’s heart-burn, or a stroke? Nope, that’s your insides telling you, do that! What? I don’t know, don’t ask me. It’s in you silly!

I don’t know how many more minutes I’ve got, so I’m gonna go get my VitaTop out of the toaster.  And since the boy isn’t here to see me, I’m gonna just stick my hand right in.

36 thoughts on “Sticking my hand in the toaster

  1. I can relate to this. Carving out those little clumps of time to do the things for yourself that make up the whole person isn’t easy. There’s so much pressure to do it all and be it all. But we moms know; we do the best that we can with what we have and nobody is perfect. The dishes will get clean, the laundry done, the Yeah Write piece written. And our kids will be fed and so will we. Both physically and spiritually.

    • So true, so true. Today I worked out an all day play date for my son so I could write, clean, write, do laundry. and write. Oh yeah, and read everyone else’s posts 🙂

    • Thanks Megan! I know. I have been kinda on a roll lately, so I keep letting my son stay up super late! Now I can’t get him back to his normal bedtime! Oops! Happy to follow you back 🙂

  2. It is amazingly easy to lose yourself in the details of life and forget what it is that you are passionate about. I hope you can make the time you need to do more of the things you love.

  3. I really related to your post, Jen. I just started blogging about a year ago. I was terrified to do it, after not having written anything truly personal in many years. But you’re right: We have to find the time and the courage to do the things we love.

    • Thanks! I still feel a little oooglie about putting myself out there, but as bloggers, we have nothing to lose, right? I want to write. This is the best way for me to do it. I’m glad you’re writing too 🙂

  4. I read someplace one time that you have to take the time to do important things because you can’t make time. Try to fit in the important things, it’s easy to let them slip away.

    • I completely agree, it is so easy to do the things you think you “have to do” to run a house, or take care of a job, and not do the things you need to do for yourself.

  5. I can totally relate to this post. More often than not I find my time being spent anywhere but where I would like it. I love to write too. Usually just some scribbles to my kids. Something for them when they are older. But lately Ive been tired. Too tired to feel sparked. But when I am. I can’t keep myself from scribbling. I just have to do it.

    • Me too! I keep a notebook with me now, because I would scribble on whatever was around 🙂 Then I couldn’t find that great idea I shoved in my purse a couple of days before!

    • It’s so true. Since I wrote that post I have been trying to squeeze writing into small 15 minute increments. I am looking forward to another straight stretch!

  6. Oh how I loved reading this…
    I so know the feeling of planning so much more than you can ever achieve in that one free hour or two, and then being ever so happy to just do what your heart has been calling you to do for ages.

    I hope you enjoyed your time…

    • Funnily enough, tonight was one of those nights too. Instead of writing I wanted to catch up on all of the other bloggers on the hops 🙂 Of course I also wanted to clean the kitchen, get rid of some junk, re-organize some homeschool materials. Thankfully there was a snowstorm, so I got about an extra hour. I magically got to catch up on the blogs and organize a teeny bit! It really is nice though, just doing what you want without that nagging feeling that you’re neglecting your kids.

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