It’s a rare thing, a minute alone, no less 120! Tonight is one of those beautiful nights Grandma wants to Grandparent, and boy am I thankful! Lately I’ve been wanting to write, but homeschooling and homemaking tend to get in the way. And yeah, I’ll admit it, I feel guilty when I tell the boy, sure, go ahead, watch one more Leave it to Beaver. Just so I can write. But I really want to write (insert whining here). So tonight I write!
I had this dream of having time to write, make a healthy dinner, clean the kitchen, put away all leftover homeschooling material left out, start the year-end filing for my husband’s business and finishing filling out some insurance forms. All in two hours. Ha! My mom is late. It’s been two hours. I’ve been sitting here at the kitchen table since about 5 minutes after she left. I re-heated some Perdue Bourbon Chicken. That was dinner. The pan I cooked them on, the dish I retrieved them from, the plate I ate on, all sitting about 2 feet from me on the counter.
Clean the kitchen. Oh yeah, I fed the dogs! Yes! I wrote too, it felt good. So good I don’t care that the kitchen is a mess and there’s junk laying all over the house.
You’ve gotta find time to do the things you love. The things that make you, you. Once upon a time, I was a photographer. A photographer who wanted to be a writer but was scared. What I loved about photography was the process of working in the darkroom. Well, thanks to the toxic chemicals and my inability to be in denial about the inevitable cancer they would cause, that passion had to be put aside. Forcing me to realize the one dream that scared me the most. Writing. I’m not scared anymore. I’m happier, and even happier by the day. You know that saying “let you, be you”? You gotta. There’s something that burns inside all of us, some of us bury it really really deep. So deep you might not even know it’s there. But it’s there, and every-once in a while you probably feel that spark. That ah-ha! Maybe you think it’s heart-burn, or a stroke? Nope, that’s your insides telling you, do that! What? I don’t know, don’t ask me. It’s in you silly!
I don’t know how many more minutes I’ve got, so I’m gonna go get my VitaTop out of the toaster. And since the boy isn’t here to see me, I’m gonna just stick my hand right in.