He Said What? 2013 Top 10 Funny Quotes by my Kid

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If it wasn’t for my son I wouldn’t have a blog. Really. Don’t get me wrong, I love to write, I’ve been working on a novel for 4 years now! I really love to write. But Isaiah is an amazing kid. Through all of his adversity; sensory processing disorder, life threatening food allergies, life threatening environmental allergies and a tic disorder, this kid is still the funniest kid I know. I would be doing you all a great dis-service if I did not share with you a small sampling of the funny things my kid said this year.

“That’s boring mom, you know, like a talking tree is boring. With eyes and a mouth, but no nostrils, or chin. No face really……”

Isaiah said to his Auntie Suzette who was with Uncle Rich “Before you ride into the sunset, I’ll give you 5 bucks for the man. You can just go ahead and get yourself another husband.”

“I won’t swim without a rash guard on because I don’t want everyone staring at my boobs.”

“I was never popular in the eighties, no one ever made movies about me.”

To a kid at the park “if you want to know more, just go to Isaiah.com”

Teaching Isaiah how to mop he said, “you know, you’re kinda like a backseat mopper.”

“Mom, Roscoe’s going to need to dig me three big holes this summer. I’m planning on going to China, Alaska and the North Pole.”

“Mom, I think I’d make a good comedian. I’d talk about boobies a lot, do you think that would be appropriate?”

“Take this milk for instance, it comes from a cow’s gutters.”

and the most recent quote of 2013:

“It’s like I asked for a turkey and cheese sandwich. That’s how fast it is. Santa drives by, gets his sandwich and Christmas is over.”

  • Geez! Stop back seat mopping! Love that he pulled the isiaih.com. He sounds as clever as his mama.ReplyCancel

    • Jennifer Kehl

      Kate – Apparently he can do EVERYTHING better than me. Except wipe his own butt. Is that tmi?ReplyCancel

  • OMG OMG OMG That kid would have gotten away with anything if he had been my student. Stop you in your tracks kind of conversations!!!ReplyCancel

  • I love collecting moments like this – they are so much fun to look back on and remember 🙂 Good that he’s got the comedy basics down too. In addition to boobies, he might want to consider the comic importance of fart jokes – they’re big with my 4-year-old. Sigh.ReplyCancel

    • Jennifer Kehl

      Funnily enough mine doesn’t do fart jokes. Is that weird? I think it might be…. oh well, he doesn’t do anything he’s supposed to do.ReplyCancel

  • Those are hilarious! And yes, he WOULD make a great comedian! And yes, I will start wearing a rash guard now so people will stop staring at MY boobs! :o)ReplyCancel

  • I’m heading over to isaiah.com to see where that kid bulk-buys his AWESOME 😀

    (also, he’s a back-seat blogger now, so neener neener 😉 )ReplyCancel

    • Jennifer Kehl

      Lizzi – tote a back seat blogger!ReplyCancel

  • How beautiful! Kids are definitely awesome at something like that 🙂 Our Lily is known for LOLs like that as well! On to many more fun quotes in 2014!ReplyCancel

    • Jennifer Kehl

      Stephanie I have so much more from 2013!ReplyCancel

  • A comedian who talks about boobies? Completely appropriate – and I know a 12 year old boy who would find Isaiah the Comedian hilarious!ReplyCancel

    • Jennifer Kehl

      Dana – I think its time for him to take his show on the road!ReplyCancel

  • Okay. Every time I picked a favorite, the next one would trump it. To the point that I went back and re-read all of them to level the playing field. He sounds like a very smart kid, which doesn’t surprise me at all. (Go ahead. Blush. That’s huge mom flattery.)

    Please keep writing down his Isaiahisms. That sounds like a religion … and it probably should be. Or at least a killer bathroom book.

    Thanks for linking up, Jen. Happy New Year.ReplyCancel

    • Jennifer Kehl

      You’ve got me thinking Michelle!ReplyCancel

  • He is so funny! He’s got the comedy routine down pat!ReplyCancel

  • Boobies? Makes you wonder who leads the conversations at school, doesn’t it? 🙂 At least he’s not talking about Miley’s gutters!ReplyCancel

    • Jennifer Kehl

      Rich – He’s homeschooled! Even scarier!ReplyCancel

  • Jen I love this post so hard I want to marry it! HA HA! Love that kid! Thanks for the laughs!ReplyCancel

    • Jennifer Kehl

      He he.. Sarah that’s one he doesn’t think is funny! LOL!ReplyCancel

  • It really would have been a disservice to not post these. Isaiah IS hilarious! My kids aren’t clever enough to say it, but I’m pretty sure I’m a back seat mopper, too.ReplyCancel

    • Jennifer Kehl

      I was telling my husband today about this post Christine, that was the one thing I mentioned, Isaiah said from the backseat, “well, you are a back seat mopper!”ReplyCancel

  • […] He Said What? Top 10 Quotes by the Boy see for yourself. […]ReplyCancel

  • Gary Sidley

    Clearly, a young man with a creative mind.ReplyCancel

  • Suzanne A. Lucas

    Lol, clearly your little guy has a future on stage. “Go to Isaiah.com” Hilarious!ReplyCancel

  • Kristi Rieger Campbell

    I read this from my phone earlier, and OMG I adore you!!! Also I want a turkey and cheese sandwich. You can go ahead and get yourself another husband???? HAHA XOReplyCancel

  • He is going to LOVE reading these when he is famous! My fav is, of course, turkey and cheese sandwich. Adorable! Thanks for linking up with SPP. Will feature this this week.ReplyCancel

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