If it wasn’t for my son I wouldn’t have a blog. Really. Don’t get me wrong, I love to write, I’ve been working on a novel for 4 years now! I really love to write. But Isaiah is an amazing kid. Through all of his adversity; sensory processing disorder, life threatening food allergies, life threatening environmental allergies and a tic disorder, this kid is still the funniest kid I know. I would be doing you all a great dis-service if I did not share with you a small sampling of the funny things my kid said this year.
“That’s boring mom, you know, like a talking tree is boring. With eyes and a mouth, but no nostrils, or chin. No face really……”
Isaiah said to his Auntie Suzette who was with Uncle Rich “Before you ride into the sunset, I’ll give you 5 bucks for the man. You can just go ahead and get yourself another husband.”
“I won’t swim without a rash guard on because I don’t want everyone staring at my boobs.”
“I was never popular in the eighties, no one ever made movies about me.”
To a kid at the park “if you want to know more, just go to Isaiah.com”
Teaching Isaiah how to mop he said, “you know, you’re kinda like a backseat mopper.”
“Mom, Roscoe’s going to need to dig me three big holes this summer. I’m planning on going to China, Alaska and the North Pole.”
“Mom, I think I’d make a good comedian. I’d talk about boobies a lot, do you think that would be appropriate?”
“Take this milk for instance, it comes from a cow’s gutters.”
and the most recent quote of 2013:
“It’s like I asked for a turkey and cheese sandwich. That’s how fast it is. Santa drives by, gets his sandwich and Christmas is over.”
29 thoughts on “He Said What? 2013 Top 10 Funny Quotes by my Kid”
Geez! Stop back seat mopping! Love that he pulled the isiaih.com. He sounds as clever as his mama.
Kate – Apparently he can do EVERYTHING better than me. Except wipe his own butt. Is that tmi?
OMG OMG OMG That kid would have gotten away with anything if he had been my student. Stop you in your tracks kind of conversations!!!
I love collecting moments like this – they are so much fun to look back on and remember 🙂 Good that he’s got the comedy basics down too. In addition to boobies, he might want to consider the comic importance of fart jokes – they’re big with my 4-year-old. Sigh.
Funnily enough mine doesn’t do fart jokes. Is that weird? I think it might be…. oh well, he doesn’t do anything he’s supposed to do.
Those are hilarious! And yes, he WOULD make a great comedian! And yes, I will start wearing a rash guard now so people will stop staring at MY boobs! :o)
I’m heading over to isaiah.com to see where that kid bulk-buys his AWESOME 😀
(also, he’s a back-seat blogger now, so neener neener 😉 )
Lizzi – tote a back seat blogger!
How beautiful! Kids are definitely awesome at something like that 🙂 Our Lily is known for LOLs like that as well! On to many more fun quotes in 2014!
Stephanie I have so much more from 2013!
A comedian who talks about boobies? Completely appropriate – and I know a 12 year old boy who would find Isaiah the Comedian hilarious!
Dana – I think its time for him to take his show on the road!
Okay. Every time I picked a favorite, the next one would trump it. To the point that I went back and re-read all of them to level the playing field. He sounds like a very smart kid, which doesn’t surprise me at all. (Go ahead. Blush. That’s huge mom flattery.)
Please keep writing down his Isaiahisms. That sounds like a religion … and it probably should be. Or at least a killer bathroom book.
Thanks for linking up, Jen. Happy New Year.
You’ve got me thinking Michelle!
He is so funny! He’s got the comedy routine down pat!
Boobies? Makes you wonder who leads the conversations at school, doesn’t it? 🙂 At least he’s not talking about Miley’s gutters!
Rich – He’s homeschooled! Even scarier!
Jen I love this post so hard I want to marry it! HA HA! Love that kid! Thanks for the laughs!
He he.. Sarah that’s one he doesn’t think is funny! LOL!
It really would have been a disservice to not post these. Isaiah IS hilarious! My kids aren’t clever enough to say it, but I’m pretty sure I’m a back seat mopper, too.
I was telling my husband today about this post Christine, that was the one thing I mentioned, Isaiah said from the backseat, “well, you are a back seat mopper!”
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Clearly, a young man with a creative mind.
Lol, clearly your little guy has a future on stage. “Go to Isaiah.com” Hilarious!
I read this from my phone earlier, and OMG I adore you!!! Also I want a turkey and cheese sandwich. You can go ahead and get yourself another husband???? HAHA XO
He is going to LOVE reading these when he is famous! My fav is, of course, turkey and cheese sandwich. Adorable! Thanks for linking up with SPP. Will feature this this week.