He Turns the Screws

There’s nothing like a kid who his too smart for his own good, crossed with a smidgen of impulse control.  If you are wondering what that looks like, here’s an example.

“You know Josie, soon you’re going to be a year older.”

“I don’t want to get older.”

“You have no choice Josie, everyone get’s older.”

Josie, beginning to get more agitated says “But, I don’t want to get older!”

“Look Josie” Isaiah says in a serious voice, “someday, you are going to be a grandmother, you have no choice, you will have grandchildren, and you will be a grandmother.”

Josie’s voice heads to the high pitch of hysteria “No!  I don’t want to be a grandmother!  I don’t want to get older!  I don’t want grandchildren!!”

Isaiah, still the voice of reason says “Look Josie, it’s not going to happen now, you don’t have to worry, it’s gonna be a lot of years until then.  You’ll even be older than Queenie (that’s me) by then.  So don’t worry it’s a long long time away.”

Josie is now in full-blown hysterics “NO, NO, NO!!  I will not grow older!  I will never have grandchildren!  I will never be old like Queenie!!!!” (nice) she screams sobbing.

Isaiah, still as calm as a con man “Well Josie, what are you going to do about your birthday then.  If you don’t want to get older, you won’t be able to have a birthday.”

Josie wipes her eyes, defiant now, “Yes I will! I just won’t blow out the candles, then I won’t be older.”

“OK”, Isaiah concedes, “I will blow them out for you.”

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