I just want you to know that your kids are awesome. They are the most well-behaved, kind kids. They were helpful and fun! I enjoy every minute I spend with them. So just remember that when you are frustrated. They are perfect.
I wrote that note to a girlfriend this morning. I started to cry as I wrote it, in fact I have tears in my eyes now. Why? Because I realized how much we all need to hear that. In this world of ADHD diagnoses, assumed sensory issues, labeling kids “on the spectrum” or behaviorally challenged, sometimes our kids become the labels placed on them by frustrated over taxed teachers, or even other parents and family members. But our children are not labels. They are loving and kind at heart. They want to please us. They are helpful and sweet. They are fun and full of energy. And yes, they yell and scream when they play, and they tear around the house, and they fight with their siblings or cousins. But they are kids! Didn’t we do all of those things when we were young? And if we didn’t, was it because we didn’t want to? Or because we weren’t allowed to? Why now this need to put our children into these perfect molds? Why is it so completely necessary to make our children be average? Our children our extraordinary! They are quirky and silly, and yes sometimes frustrating, but that’s childhood, that’s growing up! Sometimes problems arise simply because they believe they are being helpful and just aren’t mature enough to know the right way to do something. And then we yell at them or scold them? How many times have you heard this, “I was just trying to help!”?
How many of them are truly struggling at school, or in playgroups, to be the child you want them to be, the child they feel they need to be? What is that doing to them? To their self-esteem?
Here’s what I have to say, go hug your kids! Go tell them how much you love them, that you will always love them, and that everything they do is amazing and wonderful and you are proud of how hard they work. Tell them they are extraordinary, and tell yourself too.
Much love to all of you momma’s, I’m there too…. Jen
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